I have always felt that the worst part of a holiday is when it ends. The beginning is so relaxing, you don’t know what to do with all your time and you feel like everything is so much better; everything tastes better, feels better, and looks better or maybe you’re still dreaming. But slowly time passes and then it passes quickly and before you know it you’re back. At the end of a holiday I never know what I have accomplished, generally because I don’t accomplish much on vacation. Growing up as a child the only part of back-to-school that I enjoyed was the back-to-school shopping. I would run around Staples picking out pens, pencil crayons, sticky notes, erases, calculators, binders, and whatever I felt I needed for school, even though I had a lot leftover from the previous years. Suffice it to say I didn’t enjoy going back to school as a child and my parents knew it. They would tease me at the end of summer or in the New Year counting down the days to when I would return to school and in effect lose my imaginary freedom. It is interesting to note however, that I no longer have that attitude and my parents don’t tease me about it anymore either. This past winter holiday from Ryerson was my longest at five weeks, but also my potential last.
I accomplished a great deal over the past five weeks and I know exactly what it was for a change. It doesn’t feel as though I have had much of a holiday since I was doing school related work most of the time, but it was more relaxing than my last semester so I might have to take that back. However, I am ready to go back to school; at least I think so anyway. Schooling provides many things to many people. School gives me not only something to do but too it gives me a purpose. I feel that everyone needs a purpose, regardless of what it is so that we feel useful and as though we are accomplishing something. Grownup me loves holidays for their laziness but I think if I was on an extended holiday I might get antsy and uncomfortable. I don’t like to feel useless and as though I am not contributing to something. It is nice for a short period of time to do nothing but then it starts to get boring. You can only binge-watch so much Netflix or click so many links on Wikipedia before you end up in that weird area of “I Googled Sailor Moon and now I’m looking at Ted Bundy”. I need to say that I did not get to that point on this vacation, I didn’t have the time. Perhaps that is why I am ready to go back to those old Ryerson hallways, I never really left them. Or perhaps because I know I am leaving them soon enough.
The idea of graduation brings with it excitement and fear; you don’t always know what will become of you once school is over, you don’t even know if you’ll leave. I know a few people in a few different positions in life and looking at them I try to predict what will happen to me; of course it doesn’t work but my imagination is stronger than I. Will I come back for another semester, will I leave and find a job, will I go on to grad school, or will I simply run away to sunny Mexico? I don’t know yet and that is why it is both exciting and scary to know that in 3 or so months I will have a different life, potentially anyway (don’t want to say anything concrete till I have that piece of paper or plane ticket). I hope that I will graduate this spring and I think having that hope has made the end of this holiday not so terrible. I want to go back to Ryerson so that I can finish my degree and move into the next stage of my life and this coming semester is the only thing standing in my way. I can’t really say I am excited for exams and coursework, but I am excited for learning. I said that school gives me a purpose and that purpose right now is to learn as much as possible and I plan to.
Everyone has their reasons for why they hate or love school, but it is an important thing to consider. By reading this you can see that I do it all the time, along with planning run away trips to Central America. I ask myself these silly questions all the time, imagining my future world, and I think it does some good. We should all look at our lives and analyze whether or not they bring us joy or any other emotions, you never know what you’ll find when you open your heart and mind. By thinking about my past, present, and future it allows me to see how I am really feeling and it tells me when I have had enough. Right now I have had enough with rambling and with that I say welcome home Ryerson students. If this is your last semester, enjoy it, time passes so quickly before you know it you’ll have forgotten what school feels like and hopefully be realizing what a sunny beach feels like, or am I still dreaming?